Discipling at Home

Mary Leigh and I hosted a small group in our home before coming to Cincinnati. It was fully age-diverse. We had kids in elementary school sitting beside recent retirees. We also had a teen couple that was dating and got married after high school. We were part of a church plant that couldn’t afford much meeting space to rent, but we prioritized disciple-making above all other obstacles or challenges. We were family-integrated in all we did.

Family Integrated Churches as a movement holds the keys to discipleship. This was especially important back during COVID-19. The Barna Group’s annual report on the state of the church usually points to declining Sunday School attendance that stretches prior to the pandemic and social distancing guidelines. In 2015, even USA Today carried an article titled, “Has the sun set on Sunday School?” Barna’s study showed the Sunday School couldn’t compete with “fun” options, competed with what little time families had to be together, and even cited racial divisions interfering at church.

Many Sunday School workers spend so much time on their one hour on Sunday morning that they forego disciple-making outside of church walls. Meanwhile, the family’s dad is not being the spiritual leader of his family. He’s not being set up for the win.

The Apostle Paul admonished “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4 ESV). The CSB says the responsibility is to “parents.”

Dads and Moms can be encouraged, guided, and provided for as spiritual leaders for their children. What does it take for Dad to lead worship and become a protector against predators? How can families become stronger in the Lord?

Here’s an idea. I believe that Family Integrated Churches prevent teen exodus in high school.

FIC’s are not creating bunkers. Dad becoming a spiritual leader doesn’t replace his church’s pastor. Socialization of children in a healthy church context is important. Yet, age-graded programs don’t have to continue being the status quo. What if Sunday School workers were freed up to become disciple-makers in their home and community?

It’s not fair for churches to say parents should disciple their kids at home without providing training and tools. Right? Active disciplers must be intentional. Church leaders must not just provide activity sheets for elementary-age kids or books for teens to review, but there should be noticeable results of spiritual growth with parents tracking spiritual progress in key areas – worship, prayer, at least weekly home Bible study (including dialog on key points), fellowship, ministry inside and outside the church family, evangelizing, and being on mission. The church must not take the place of home discipleship, but facilitate home-based discipline.

There are churches that are excelling as a family-integrated church. Discipleship can be started at anytime in homes and celebrated annually to spiritually reinvigorate the family. Explore the FIC model and then accept their offer to help your church strengthen disciple-making in the home. A discussion on this was recorded. On CABA’s YouTube Channel, look for “Taking Kids’ Ministry Home.”